


Love in the City of Spires

by rebel_wren



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: (Soap Holos), Apologies, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Star Wars Rebels: Steps Into Shadow, Watching Holodramas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 15:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20585027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebel_wren/pseuds/rebel_wren
Summary: After Kanan reconnects with his family after disconnecting from them for so long after Malachor, he and Hera have a difficult talk about their feelings, and then spend some quality time together.





	Love in the City of Spires

Hera lost the  _ Phantom _ , the secondary ship of the  _ Ghost _ that had been a fixture of it longer than anyone on board.

But she didn’t mind like she usually might have. Because she got Kanan and Ezra back, and that was much more important. Neither of them had actually left or disappeared, but it might have been less painful if they had.

Ezra had changed a lot, and not necessarily for the better. He isolated himself more often, he was ruder when he did talk to people, and he had on several occasions snapped things to Hera that hurt her more than she cared to admit. But what had been worrying Hera the most was how reckless he’d become on the battlefield, charging in much more aggressively and getting close to severe injury many times. Sabine also said he did things with the Force that she didn’t think Kanan would approve of.

Not that Kanan had been any easier over the last few months. He didn’t talk much after Malachor, even to Hera, though that didn’t bother her at first. He let her take care of him for a while- she would guide him around the ship some when he needed it, would change his bandages until the doctors said he could keep them off, and she even helped him shave until he said he wanted to grow out a beard. But it didn’t take long for him to pull away. Hera hardly saw him, and talked to him less- he would just sit alone for hours on end. Even when she tried to sit down and talk with him, his responses would be short and he’d hardly acknowledge her.

But for the first time, it seemed like things were changing, and their family could be whole again. And that was what Hera wanted more than anything else.

Kanan had kissed her for the first time in too long after Zeb, Sabine and Ezra left (truly at ease and chatting happily, also for the first time in too long) and quietly promised to meet her in her room after dinner.

So that’s where Hera was, and it was only a few moments later that Kanan opened the door. He smiled at her, and it occurred to Hera how much she missed that smile.

He took both of her hands and kissed her gently. When they broke apart, Hera pressed her forehead against his, eyes closed.

“I really missed you,” she breathed.

“I… I know. I’m sorry,” Kanan leaned back, and Hera opened her eyes again to look at his face. She knew that expression- he felt guilty, upset with himself and insecure. And she hated it.

“I want to talk to you,” he said.

Hera nodded, before remembering. “Alright,” she replied. “Let’s sit down.”

She still hadn’t released his hands, so she pulled him and helped guide him to sit down next to her on the bed.

“I’m really sorry,” Kanan said. His voice was barely above a mumble. “I wasn’t the only one scarred after Malachor, I was selfish. I should have been there for Ezra… I left you alone to deal with that, and everything else you have to deal with. That wasn’t fair.”

“It’s okay, love,” Hera whispered, but Kanan just shook his head.

“It wasn’t. I hurt you.”

Hera stiffened. “That wasn’t what hurt me.”

Kanan frowned. “No?”

She hadn’t planned originally on bringing it up. But if they were talking, she figured she should.

“You kept pushing me away, Kanan. I was trying so hard to help you, to be there for you, but… it didn’t work. And I was so confused, because you always wanted me to make more time for us, but when I did, you didn’t want it anymore. And I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong, or if I just wasn’t doing enough.”

She didn’t have to tell him how she feared their relationship was over, or how lonely her bed felt some nights, or how she had celebrated their anniversary alone in her room- did he even remember that?

She looked up and examined his face, and something told her he had, and that he understood everything that was unsaid. She reached a hand up to gently caress the side of his face- it felt different with the beard.

“But I forgive you. It’s not easy, but I do.”

“How can you do that?” Kanan asked.

_ Because I love you. _

“Because I understand that you were hurting. And you’ve never done this to me before.”

“And I won’t again,” Kanan said, his voice more assured than she’d heard in a while. Hera squeezed his hand, and he pulled his hands away in order to wrap his arms around her. Hera returned the hug without a second thought, holding onto him.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s not true,” Hera said.

They continued to hug each other tightly for a while, until Hera pulled away from him.

“We’re okay, dear.”

Kanan smiled at her, chuckling. “Good. I’m glad it’s not like… what was that really bad holodrama we used to watch?”

“Oh!” Hera gasped quickly, and practically jumped off the bed to go through her drawers.

“What, you used to say it was bad too!”

“Oh, of course,” Hera said, stopping her search for a moment. “It was awful. Why did we watch it?”

“I have no idea, honestly,” Kanan admitted with a quiet laugh. “But what are you doing?”

“Well,” Hera said, finally finding a disk labelled with  _ Love in the City of Spires - Season Twelve _ . “Remember how we couldn’t find the last season?”

“Yeah.”

“You will never guess who had it,” she said.

“Who?”

“Guess.”

“You just said I’ll never guess!”

Hera rolled her eyes, though she could feel some delight bubbling up in her- Kanan was really back.

“Just guess,” Hera said.

“Zeb.”

She shook her head. “Nope. Rex.”

“You’re lying.”

“I swear! He was talking about it when we were doing inventory a few months back,” Hera said, loading the disc into the small holoprojector she kept in her room as she set it up. “He loaned the last season to me. I was waiting for a chance to watch it with you, but then everything happened, and-” she stopped as the blue light flicked on, casting a glow on Kanan’s face that, while highlighting his features nicely, also reflected off his blind eyes.

“I- Kanan, I’m sorry, I didn’t… wow.”

Kanan frowned. “What? No, I want to watch it. Or, listen to it. You can just tell me what’s going on.”

Hera sat down. “You’re sure?”

“I never watched this with you for the show, Hera.”

She smiled at him and kissed his cheek before she pressed play. The opening theme, an annoyingly repetitive song that could get stuck in your head for weeks, began as Hera rested against Kanan, and he wrapped his arms around her. Hera felt like she could hardly remember the last time they were that close.

The show started with a recap of the last season, and then it cut to the actual show, though it didn’t take long for Hera to gasp.

“What?” Kanan asked. “What happened?”

“Elle just kissed Ardin!”

“Isn’t she the one that just married that one guy?”

“‘That one guy,’” Hera mocked affectionately.

“What, does it matter? There’s way too many characters.”

Hera chuckled. “Guess not. But no, that’s Palley. Elle is the one who kept flirting with that Moonrunner guy until she found out they were long lost twins, remember?”

Kanan nodded. “Oh, right. That was…”

“Weird?”

“Yeah,” Kanan said, laughing. “Why are we watching this again?”

But both of them already knew the answer to that.


End file.
